The alarm goes off. 5am. Instantly, the snooze button is tapped like the send button on a passionate Facebook reply. “Nope. Not today. I’ll start tomorrow.” Why? Why is “not today” our reflexive response? Simple--it’s what’s always been done, it’s habitual behavior.

However, the relief of the “not today” finds itself mixed with “But, I really do want to change! I’m ready! But, I’m not a morning person. I don’t like vegetables. There’s no time to cook healthy food. And, I can’t do it-” all in the same string of thoughts.

Here. This is where I lived, and it was misery. At 17 I gained 20 lbs in one summer due to a dramatic, yet sneaky, change in my lifestyle and habits. Feeling puffy, depressed, exhausted, and incredibly frustrated, I turned to extremes rather than reflection. Taking a single moment to reflect on the major changes in my life: quitting basketball, taking on two jobs, and partying the stress away-why think about that?

Instead I turned to the most logical, given RESULTS is what I was after and as QUICKLY as humanly possible: the Slim Fast Diet! Calorie and fat restriction-- like it’s 1999! As someone who gives 110% of herself to every commitment, this diet is no exception. In about 8 weeks, the weight was down, while running was constant. The “success” of it fed my unhealthy desire to control things in order to avoid the root cause of gaining the weight in the first place. While red flags signaled me all the way, the one that flapped the loudest was the belief that the only way to stay thin(and therefore healthy) was to stay addicted to the control of the diet. And the diet consumed me like a full-time job. When not followed perfectly, the resulting guilt and shame became overwhelming and would even determine my value and worth. The result was an odd and unbalanced attachment to food. It was all I could think about--I was either on it or off it--both were very extreme and unsustainable.

It took far too long to realize that the diet didn’t and couldn’t change my unhealthy habits--the root cause to my weight gain in the first place.

So, what makes living a healthy lifestyle so different than dieting? Here are the top twelve signs I noticed as I ditched the diets and healed my body and mind, then sustained for more than a decade:

Food is no longer good or bad. Everything is consumed without guilt. My body responds to true hunger.
Food choices are made out of a strong desire to feel physically and mentally AWESOME which are natural, whole foods, in balance, when hungry.
In life situations where I have no control over the food, I just eat what is available, appropriately responding to hunger and making the most balanced decision possible.
My meal plans, grocery lists and home are filled with food that makes me feel awesome.
Junk food cravings and consumption is rare because of the physical and mental side-effects.
The eating experience is pleasurable every time.
Exercise is habitual, treasured, planned.
I crave real food, especially vegetables.
Total elimination of allergenic foods is non-negotiable: for me, that means no gluten, no dairy, shellfish…
Quality sleep, 7-8 hours, is a top priority.
When an emotional or physical need is not being met, I find ways to fill that need in a non food way (non-food nourishment or NFN)
Cooking from scratch is always the norm alongside meal planning
It took some time to relearn my body’s signals and what it was originally created to do. This is the case for people who struggle as I once did. Society sent the lie-filled messages long ago: “Food is love! Treat yourself! You deserve it! You earned it! You can’t resist! You can’t trust yourself around food!” WRONG: food is food. It is a pleasure while also necessary to sustain life, but not to fulfill non hunger or thirst needs. The quality of life that comes from making healthy choices every day is, truthfully, one of the most loving actions we can take for ourselves and anyone we care about!